Jun 18, 2011

Be happy.

Hi there, it's been quite some time. Since this has been my emotional blog for a while now, you know what to expect.

It's indeed been quite some time since I felt warm tears on my cheek, involuntarily damning all my efforts to remain calm and composed.

I wish you all happiness on earth.

I have never met someone like her before in my life. Never. Such a pure soul, such life and joy in a that small physique. From time to time in my life I get involved in a relationship with someone. In my case, being the person I am, I always see flaws in people--mind you, I see the most flaws in myself--but the point is I never have met someone perfect. There are always imperfections in everyone, and most of them my brain can tolerate. I perfectly understand that nobody's perfect. Not me, not my best friends, not my exes.

Be yourself, and fly high..

But then I met her. Weird--so weird. If God made a mistake, and accidentally created a human that's perfect, that would be her. And I believe God did make a mistake. I failed to see any flaws within her. I failed to hold myself back from her. And then I fell.

But circumstances didn't allow us to be.

I just told her I'd wait for her. And I told her to be happy.

And maybe, one day, I'll meet you again in the sky..

And, hey, my cheeks feel warm.

instead of all happiness on earth,
i want you to hold me tight and never let go.

scandal issued at 12:05 PM_

Mar 14, 2011

a matter of perspective

if there's one single think i despise, that is being emo.

it's counter-productive, time-wasting and brings no profit in any kind. it is the kind of thing that needs not exist. but alas, it does. when it's here, there's a kind of certainty that prohibits our mind from rejecting it out. it sends tingles and jolts to the very tips of your fingers, and then you just feel like shouting, as loud as possible and as quiet as possible so only you and you alone could hear it. it makes you cry for help. you need help. you just can't stop the feeling. your heart races faster and as everything you see starts getting out of focus you find yourself gaping for air since your lungs are in pain; as your whole being is.

this is emo. my definition of emo; how i perceive it. it's real, and i'm sure don't experience it often.

see, you just read the sentence and think 'jeez, this is some exaggerated emotional shit,' but then you will read this:

it's counter-productive, time-wasting and brings no profit in any kind. it is the kind of thing that needs not exist. but alas, it does. when it's here, there's a kind of certainty that prohibits our mind from rejecting it out. it sends tingles and jolts to the very tips of your fingers, and then you just feel like shouting, as loud as possible and as quiet as possible so only you and you alone could hear it. it makes you cry in joy. you just can't stop the feeling. your heart races faster and as everything you see starts getting out of focus you find yourself gaping for air since your lungs are ecstatic; as your whole being is.

this, friend, is love.

when you can feel love, you can feel emo. it's the same humane chemical reaction, adjudged differently in our brain.

it's been 3 and a half year since i felt love. it was one of the most real feeling i ever had, and surreal at the same time, and i was in love with the feeling of being in love. oh, but the story didn't end well, and i was heartbroken, and there, i felt emo.

for so long since, i never had that kind of feeling ever again. but now i do.

gentlemen, embrace love, for when it is real, you can tell from the pain: it is real, too.

Labels: emotioneer, general banter

scandal issued at 2:57 AM_

Jan 8, 2011

A long lost star

I saw your light, glimmering in the dark skies today.

1100 days of captivity.

When are you gonna set me free?

scandal issued at 1:14 AM_

Apr 9, 2010

flash

scandal issued at 12:27 AM_

Mar 22, 2010

500

Tom: I haven't seen you?
Autumn: You must not have been looking...

sometimes, we simply don't see the most obvious.
it takes time, trust me.

i know.

because we all miss your smile
but especially, me

Song of The Day : Rascal Flatts - My Wish

scandal issued at 3:13 AM_

Mar 21, 2010

untitled post

..it's never really lost, really.

Song of The Day : World Weary - Noel Coward

scandal issued at 1:04 AM_

Mar 14, 2010

8 Reasons Why Girls Should Date Sad Desperate Guys

1. You can dye him your colour

If you’re his first girlfriend you can have him dress and date how you want. It’s best not to be too forceful and take into account his wishes as you move him closer to what you want though.

2. He’ll be delighted with simple things like you cooking for him or holding his hand

These might be expected by people with lots of experience dating but a romantic novice should be moved by them all the same.

3. You can avoid being compared to his last girlfriend

As he likely never had one, he’ll not compare you to his last. For example your cooking or what you want to do for birthdays, etc. But you should avoid comparing him to your last boyfriend too – upset men tend to get jealous.

4. You can pursue an innocent romance

He might be nervous or awkward on dates. But you can also relive your “innocent” school romances. For a woman looking for “pure love,” a novice might be just the thing?

5. You needn’t be jealous of other women

With an experienced guy you never know when he’ll make a pass at a girl. But with a greenhorn he probably doesn’t know how to talk to girls properly so there’s no danger of that. On the other hand, he’s more likely to be jealous of you so watch what you do with other guys.

6. You needn’t use relationship tactics on him

You don’t have to bother playing hot and cold with him by being deliberately nice or nasty to get what you want. In fact doing this might backfire as he might overreact to such stimuli. Perhaps best to be straight with him.

7. He’ll remember your anniversaries and events

When you started dating you probably cared about these things at first. It’s like that for a guy with no experience so he’ll care about them a lot. He may not know what to expect so you can tell him what you want him to do too.

8. You don’t have to worry about him cheating on you

He’s likely to take romance seriously so the chances of him cheating are low. However, romance can open a man’s eyes so you’d better watch him closely.

The best thing about this? I see all those 8 things actually happening with a couple i know, say, really well. Heh. Truth on epic proportion!

And meh, I kinda worry about you. Was I like that when I wallowed in self-pity and not getting over her? It's sad, just sad. And I have no idea how to make you really smile.

Song of The Day : Into Each Life Some Rain Must Fall - Ella Fitzgerald

scandal issued at 9:34 PM_

Feb 13, 2010

untitled again

It isn't even real; it's not supposed to hurt.

Maybe, maybe I am the biggest loser.

scandal issued at 10:32 PM_

Feb 9, 2010

Good design..

should be like Nylon stockings in the US in 1940s; they were easily affordable, immensely appealing and practically addictive.

PS : finally i blog from my iphone!

scandal issued at 10:45 AM_

Feb 1, 2010

border(s)

Sometimes we have to jump over the wall.
No more turning back and escape.

Enjoyed the Borders Cafe session with Dhea, Ariston and Maura. We should do it more often! :)

Dan yang sedang menusuk cheesecake itu tanpa rasa ampun tidak lain dan tidak bukan adalah Mbak Dhea sendiri. Kejam. Penyaluran napsu kekerasan yang sangat salah. Kasian banget ya cheesecakenya.

And I stumbled upon this on Jebay's blog, when she's talking about the song A Dance around The Memory Tree by Oren Lavie :

"I said I like this song because it sounds dark and lonely, my dear said I'm twisted."

Guess what, I think your dear is twisted, too. This is the lyrics of his newly profound song :

Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
'Neath the halo of a street lamp
I turn my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never shared
No one dared
Disturb the sound of silence

"Fools," said I, "you do not know
Silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you"
But my words like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said "The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls
And whispered in the sound of silence

It's dark and lonely and so deep, listening to it might just make you shiver the whole night.

Ah, anyway I'm supposed to get my work done. Someone encourage me please!

Song of The Day : Tom Jones - Green Green Grass of Home